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1]My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
2]Can’t talk, telepathy only!
4]One person’s
LOL is another’s WTF!
5]Eat…sleep….regret……repeat.
6]I will be
back before you pronunce afjkhnfkualnfhukcakecnhkj.
7]Dream as if you’ll live forever..Live as if tomorrow is last one.
8]Galileo:Great mind…Einstein:genius mind…Newton:Extraordinary
mind….Bill
gates:brilliant
mind…..ME:Never Mind.
9]I had to take sick day.I’m sick of those peoples.
10]Just wanted to say, you are as useless as “ueue” in a “queue”.
11]Sleep till you’re hungry….Eat till you’re sleepy.
12]Always give your 100 percent ….unless you’r donating blood .
13]lazy People Fact #5812672793
You were too lazy to read that number.
You were too lazy to read that number.
14]Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so near to
monday????
15]I like to take road less travelled…..helps me to avoid traffic.
16]Wow now I’m a graduate…….Now thermometer is not the only thing
that has degrees without brains .
17]I can see you checking my whatsapp status. B)
18]Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it
makes you sad.
19]I’am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give
me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
20]Second chances are for losers….either we do it in first place or
live it for others.
21]I wish I could loose weight as easy as I lose my
pens,keys,smartphone,my temper and even my mind.
22]fun is like life insurance.The older you get..the more it
cost’s.
22]I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by selling my
car.
23]My week is basically
…Monday–>Monday#2–>Monday#3–>Monday#4–>Friday–>Saturday–>pre-Monday
24]We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress
people we don’t like.
25]Tried to loose weight…….But it keeps finding me.
26]If you try to pronounce “lmao” you sound like a french cat.
27]formula for success…….under promise and over deliver…….
28]We live in a society were pizza gets to your house before
police.
29]Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my watsapp status….
30]I wish I had google in my mind and antivirus in my heart.
31]I just saved lot of money by lic life insurance ……..By not
having any.
32]Love marriage is like dancing in front of snake and asking him
to bite.
33]Error: status unavailable
34]Waiting for wi-fi network.
35]Jidhar apna CRUSH hai , udhar hich sala RUSH hai and filhaal
timepass k liye only CANDYCRUSH he…(hindi)
36]Always remember you are UNIQUE………… just like everybody else.
37]I don’t care what people think or say about me, I was not born
on this earth to please everybody.
38]Tip to avoid car insurance……….Join facebook and never leave
home.
39]You can’t put a value on a human life,but my wife’s life
insurance company made a pretty fair offer.
40]Even romeo went from being “in a relationship” to “it’s
complicated”.
41]Sorry vegetarians we can’t pretend
47]I started out with nothing and i still have most of it:)
48]I took IQ test …..results were negative
49]Should transformers take car insurance or life insurance…..
50]If procrastination was an Olympic event ,I’d compete in it
later.
51]Your whatsapp status say’s online …..If your online then why
aren’t you texting me
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